Again, stole this from Damien over at 2 Cents Worth Down Under who stole it from somewhere else who stole it from ... you get the picture.
1. What were doing 10 years ago? Crocheting egg-cup warmers and drinking luke-warm tea. What the fuck do you think I was doing? I was being a whore!
2. Five snacks that you enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world: children roasting on an open fire, bbq pigs bums, a vat of amyl, pickled elephants testicles and a mint slice.
3. Five things you would do if you were a billionaire: buy Levin and destroy it (if you've never been to Levin and don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, you're lucky. It's a vile, pointless little town), buy Brad Pitt to shave my balls, create a decent sex-on-site venue for this city, build an old-fashioned toilet block on private land complete with glory holes and nasty trough-style urinal, buy the Catholic church.
4. Three of your habits: talking to strange cats in the street, fucking ass-holes and checking the level of salt in the pantry.
5. Five jobs that you’ve have had: Pie-reviver for NZ Rail, Body Shaver for Olympic swim team, Complete and Utter Bastard, Bouncer (that one's real!), and Head Tranny at Trannies Aren't Us
6. Five places that you’ve lived: Denial, Perpetuity, Luxury, Squalor, My Own Filth.
7. Five things that you did yesterday: sold heroin to school children, drank meths with a bum, fucked Al Gore, force fed raw rice to a pigeon to see if it really would explode, tickled a hamster.
8. Five people you would want to get to know more about: Jack the Ripper (Seriously - I find him/her fascinating), that bloke who worked the bar at that pub in London, Doug Fitzwater (why were you such a miserable old bastard?), and the seriously cute twins we talked to in Berlin.
9. Abortion: for or against it? Abortion is for wimps. Frankly, I'd put an oral contraceptive in the drinking water and couples have to apply for the antidote - only after passing a rigorous parenting test.
10. Do you think the world would fail with a female president? There are plenty of female presidents in the world so what the fuck are you talking about?
11. Do you believe in the death penalty? Of course I 'believe' in it ... it exists, it's a reality. I think that the phrase you were after after was 'Do you agree with the death penalty?' in which case my answer is Yes. Especially for the cunt who stole my car back in 2002.
12. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already? Yeah - but the tax on it would be astronomical!
13. Are you for or against premarital sex? I’m for lots and lots of premarital sex.
14. Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized? Yes - but don't expect me to be marching up the aisle any time soon.
15. Do you think it’s wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA? Nothing to do with me - look after your own shit.
16. Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen? Dammit, the legal age is 18! Government is voting today about raising it to 20.
17. Should the war in Iraq be called off? Yes. And USA should hand over all it's weapons of mass destruction to the Iraqui government by way of an apology.
18. Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree? I agree with the statement - I don't agree with the fact.
19. Do you believe in spanking your children? I don't have any children. But I believe that the little shits should be spanked regularly
20. Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers? What's to worry about? I don't give a flying fuck what others think about me. Can I go and make a cup of tea now?