Okay ... this might be a bit weird but, hey! you know me!
So, you know about quoits, right? Those rubber ring things you try to throw over a stick for some damned silly reason?
Has anyone ever used them in a more ... sexual manner?! I've been using them for years but was just telling a friend about it. At first he was horrified by the idea, then intrigued and then declared that it was the most brilliant thing he'd ever heard of. Now, this guy is fairly sexually adventuous so I figured that if he'd never heard of the use of quoits then maybe it was a little more unusual than I had assumed. I did a quick Google search and came up with no references anywhere ...
So ... in the spirit of education, here we go.
First, get your quoit. Make sure the ring itself is reasonably thin (walk before you run ...) and flexible. I'm sure your local sport shop will happily oblige.
Next, tie a piece of cord (leather, nylon, whatever) around the ring somewhere. Make sure this firmly attached cos this is your safety line ... literally! It's gonna be the only way you're gonna retrieve the ring!
Next, lube up your ass and the quoit.
Then squeeze the quoit in to a sausage shape with the cord at one end (you know where we're headed now, huh?).
Insert the quoit into your ass and go "Wow! Fucking hell!" as you feel it expand in your rectum. Just make sure the damned cord is sticking out of your ass!!
When you've had enough and you've phoned your mother to tell her that you have a quoit up your ass and it feels fucking amaaaaazing, pull on the cord and ease that nasty little fucker out of there.
Quoits. The newest sport at the Gay Olympics.